Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
