I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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