i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
