I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
