I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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