the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
