Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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