brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
being pregnant is like rehab
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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