I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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