i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.