what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
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it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
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I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.