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I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
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