She's JV to your varsity
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
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I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.