Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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