Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
