Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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