Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Why is there bacon in the couch?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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