I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Randomize
