So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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