I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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