But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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