i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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