I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
you win again, gameday.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
