im having a threesome with these popsicles
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize