I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Are my feet made of real feet?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
A+ Viking dick
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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