i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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