they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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