to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
