You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
