So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
