How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
