he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
