"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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