pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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