i already hear my dad disowning me
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
