he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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