I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
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I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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