C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
