Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm just crazy horny about you
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
