Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Is Oprah even human
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
