I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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