I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
