I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
