is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
