You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
