This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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