you turned your livingroom into a bong?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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