Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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