We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
