So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
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She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
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You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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