Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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