ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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