I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
