The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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