he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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