what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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