I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
