Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
