I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
