my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
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