i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
