Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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