im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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