I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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