I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize