It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
