big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
