Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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