..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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