so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
