I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
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