he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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