is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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