My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
There r osticjed everywhere
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
