had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
