I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
